Dear Future Snookums: (10 things my Future Husband is missing out on by NOT knowing Me)

 

Here's 10 things I feel my future husband/Snookums is missing out on by not knowing me. I believe its imperative that he meets within the year. I could be a huge asset to him.  I'm convinced that all 10 of these things are cruical to his continued happiness in life.

1. Home cook meals:  I'm an excellent cook and I think you probably could use a home cook meal. I'm pretty sure you live off of frozen waffles and take out.

2. Looks: When I get all dolled up I can be quite easy on the eyes. I don't dress up all the time but if you were around I would make more of an effort to rock my lady pumps. I hope you're taller than 6 feet because my stilettos aka "lady pumps" put me at a towering 5'10. I'm 5'4 without heels you do the math.

3. Sense of humor: I laugh a ton. Whether you are a comedian or not you won't know the difference. I like to laugh so much that I will probably make you feel like "Dave Chappelle" by laughing at all your corny jokes. I'll even encourage you to share your corny jokes when were out with other couples just to make you feel good. 

4. Cleanliness: My house is always kept clean. Since you're a bachelor,  I strongly doubt you keep a clean pad. You would enjoy relaxing at my place. Although sometimes my place is in a state of disarray. It only happens when my creative juices are flowing. If you came over for dinner my place would be so clean you could eat off of the floor. 

5. Hygiene: I smell good. I wear a lovely perfume that people compliment me on daily. I am sure you would enjoy the scent. A couple of weeks ago my cab driver asked me the name of my perfume because it reminded him of the love of his life. That's a good sign right?

6. Intellect: I'm a smart cookie! I'm well versed on most of today's current issues. I would be open to discussing whatever your heart desires. With the exception of Aliens. We would have to stay away from the topic of aliens, they creep me out and I think I might have seen one before. I'm totally down to discuss the latest episode of Downton Abbey, the facebook IPO,  the housing market, how long it will take our society to self destruct. I think those are all lovely topics.

7. Independence: I have my own car so you wouldn't have to worry about taking me to the grocery store or helping me run errands. I would only ask that you be at my front door when I arrive home from running all my errands so you can help me unload my car. In return I would bake your favorite cookies as a thank you. 

8. JetSetter: I love to travel. I've been to Paris, Hong Kong, Bali, Rome, Indonesia, China, NYC, Phoenix, Miami. And many other fascniting places which we can discuss once we meet.

9. Physically fit: I workout, I'm not crazy about it but I make sure to get some type of exercise in daily. Whether its running around the lake, walking, or doing Pilates. I try to make sure I stay fit.  You might be struggling in this area and I could help motivate you. We'll start by getting you the proper running shoes, that worked for me. 

10. Faith: I have a strong belief in God and if you were going through a difficult situation I would pray for you and encourage you stay focused. I would be your #1 fan and support all your goals.  I was a cheerleader for six years in high school and college so I have a lot of practice. That sounds good right?

Well, I think that about covers it. You now have a pretty good synopsis of what you're missing out on. After reading my list I'm sure you have a better idea of how much your life would be improve if I were in it. The ball is in your court now. I hope you find me soon as I am postitve after posting this on my blog, I won't be on the market much longer! Laters……….

Love, your future wife : )

 

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